Truth

Turns out one of the good things that came out of my bout of anxiety and depression was the reveal of the lies I’d been believing about myself. I say good because after they were revealed, eventually, with some work and study, I was able to replace the lies with truth. (You should know, I did not see it as good at first reveal.) I can’t tell you where the lies came from. Seems like they grabbed on, like a burr to clothes while hiking through the woods. They hooked on and piled up in the sneakiest way possible. I can however tell you how I removed these lies. The only way possible is to replace them with Truth. As I looked to Jesus, the truth became more clear.

With the onset of anxiety, I remember telling my sister, “If  I can’t encourage others, I don’t know who I am.” Lie number one? I was who I could help. My value and worth was in what I did. This was a big one for me. A clump of burrs so to say. Now, don’t get me wrong, helping people and encouraging them is a good thing. God designed me to encourage others and to care deeply for others’ hearts. However, that is not who I am. I do not need to prove myself to be loved by Jesus. In Oswald Chambers’ devotional, My Utmost For His Highest, He says, “The goal of faithfulness is not that we will do work for God, but that He will be free to do His work through us.” Seems I had things a bit backwards. In the dark of night with the source of truth in hand, God spoke to me. Not audibly but through a clear thought. “Ellen,” He said, “if you sit in that chair, in the corner and do nothing, I will love you no more and no less. You are my beloved because you are mine.”

They say the best way to get burrs out of your clothing is to soak them in water first. As I bathed in the truth, by learning  about God’s love for me, I felt the release of the grip the lie had on me. John 8:32 “….and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”. As I work on getting to the end of the clump, I have truths to replace the silent seeds of lies. Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” And Romans 5:8 says, “God shows His love for me while I was still a sinner He died for me.” 

This opened my eyes to the other lies I had been believing. Goodness, how could I have not known?! In my depression I was a burr of fear. The verse of truth I had recited over and over again was from 2 Timothy 1:7, “God has not given me a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind.” The lie that I was alone was replaced with Matthew 28:20 “I am with you always.” The lie that I wouldn’t be fun without a drink in my hand was replaced with Jeremiah 17:7 “but blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.” I had to constantly stop my mind from spiraling into a lie; I’d stop and ask myself if I was believing a lie or the truth. As we walk the paths of life, the burrs attach in anticipation of spreading. Lies that tell us we aren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, curvy enough. Lies that tell us we aren’t a good wife, mom, sister, daughter, employee. Lies that tell us we deserved it, don’t deserve it or that we aren’t worth it. The lie that tells us we aren’t seen, known or loved. The lies are many but the truths are abundant my friends. Drench yourself in the truth. As the grip releases you will be set free. 

Reminding myself of truth has become utmost important in my walk. So important that I recently got my very first tattoo of the word Truth on my wrist. It faces me so that I can always be reminded of it. It’s capitalized purposely because it isn’t just an idea, Jesus says, “I am the truth, the way and the life.” John 14:6

What are the lies you’ve been believing? Take a good look, what burrs have attached themselves?  Are you feeling anxious, fearful, depressed or in a funk? Maybe it’s an indication of a lie that had taken hold along the way. Bring it to Jesus, the truth himself. Bathe yourself in His love for you. As you pick each burr, each lie off He will set you free. Now as you hike along your path of life, you can enjoy the beauty God has created you for. John 8:32, “…You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”