Joyel

Joyel’s grandma Jan, helped lead her to the Lord and discipled her at a very young age. When Joyel started attending public school, she would walk to her grandma’s house for lunch. Joyel struggled in school, especially that year. She now knows it’s because she has dyslexia. But she was able to sit at her grandma’s comforting kitchen table at lunch and they would often talk about the Bible. Her grandma didn’t only love Joyel well, she loved all people well. Joyel looked up to her grandma and loved her deeply. Unfortunately this close relationship, along with her other three grandparents would come to an end all in a matter of a couple short years. Cancer, Alzheimer’s and heart disease interrupted Joyel’s innocence and as she says, “it rocked my world.” As a naturally sensitive girl, Joyel’s feelings would get hurt easily. With the death of her grandparents and as struggles arose, she decided she would defy her soft heart by taking control and work to make her world right. 

Her way hadn’t been working, and the control she was demanding of her life would only give her short term, false senses of these desires.

Admittedly Joyel says she tried to turn to God when she felt overwhelmed with the weight of the world but she didn’t feel like she had her own faith. Intermediate and middle school years were filled with a desperate desire to fit in and for people’s approval. This led to an eating disorder to gain attention from the guys. She wanted to be one of the popular girls and she would do anything and in fact, betray some to fit in. Joyel confesses, “Still being a part of the church, I lived a double life. I put on a good front and a good show. I gained happiness from being in the popular group. I lived selfishly.” Joyel simply wanted to belong, to feel seen and to be known. She wanted to know that she was enough. Her way hadn’t been working, and the control she was demanding of her life would only give her short term, false senses of these desires. 

In seventh grade, Joyel would be witness to another tragedy, more death. Joyel literally watched her friend pass away on the gym floor at school. Instead of being passive, Joyel wrestled with God in her pain. She cried out, “God why aren’t you doing something?!” Not only did she feel the pain and witness the tragedy but now she saw others, her peers and friends in distress. Again it felt too much. And again, she wanted to do something to make it right. But, this time she had decided she would give God a little bit more of her controlling heart. She would let God have some parts of her life, but she wouldn’t surrender it all just yet. 

Shortly after this experience Joyel attended Sandblast. It was a summer weekend retreat for middle and high school students through her church. At one of the night sessions, her pastor had directed the kids to cover their hands in mud. The mud represented the sin in their lives. He then had them wash their hands clean. After the activity, he brought the kids back together. This time he had them look under their fingernails. Joyel looked down and brought her fingernails closer. As her eyes focused and her fingers tipped back, her heart sank. She didn’t only see the residual mud packed down in between her nail and her fingertip, she saw her double life. She saw how she was desperately trying to fit in. She was taken back by the filth, she felt shame because under her nails was the life she had been living apart from Christ. The impact of her pastor’s message that night led her to fully surrender her life to Jesus. As a young 13 year old girl, she realized more than most at this age. God clearly had big plans for her and there wasn’t time to waste. Life changed for her after that night. She had found a new group of friends, she was done being all things for all people, that wasn’t her job. She didn’t want to people-please, that wasn’t her job either. She wanted to live for Him and not for the world. And through this experience, Joyel had found a confidence she had never had before! Her confidence was in Christ.

High school wasn’t a breeze and neither was college; however, it is clear God was protecting her from the people and the situations she would have succumbed to if God had not called her closer to Him. And God would continue to refine her. Joyel remembers her second mission trip to The Sahara Desert, she had a passion to share Jesus with these people. She was eager to be a part of the women’s dialogue regarding what she believed. Unfortunately she became sick and was unable to go to the conference. Joyel was angry. “Why would God bring me this far, only to be left sick, in a dark room by myself?” As her tears poured with disappointment, anger, sickness and confusion she literally heard God say, “Be Still.” Joyel confesses, “I wept as this is my least favorite thing to do.” Right after that, one of her team members came to show her a dance that had been performed at the conference. It was to the song Peace Be Still. Clearly God wanted Joyel to understand that her worth was not in the fixing she could do. It wasn’t in her work EVEN if it was for Him. He loved her so much more than that! She didn’t have to perform for Him. She was His before she lifted a finger. Psalm 147:10,11 says, “His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor is His delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love.” The fear that is spoken of in this verse is a holy fear. One that knows and understands that God is the king of the kings and the Lord of Lords. That He holds it all and has all authority. That even in the midst of pain and hardship that He delights in us and gives us HOPE for His unfailing love.

Joyel was married to Levi, someone very opposite than her, in 2012. They love Jesus wholeheartedly together. They have two beautiful spunky little girls, Lily and Leighanna. Joyel and Levi enjoy being in community together.  Here’s where I write; And they lived happily ever after…..The End. But, I can’t, because her story is not done. God was not done. 

There is shame, fear and some hopelessness that tries to wiggle it’s way back into her mind. She doesn’t wan mental illness to be apart of her story, yet it is.

Tragedy strikes in the form of death again. This time one of her family’s close friends passed away unexpectedly due to heart failure. She also lost a friend in that year who had been fighting for other’s lives. Someone she had partnered with at work to stand up for every life that matters. Her death couldn’t be explained by natural causes. Not shortly after, “I told my husband I had a plan to hang myself.” Joyel says with the puddles building up in her eyes. I can see it’s painful to talk about her story of mental illness. She confesses there is shame, fear and some hopelessness that tries to wiggle it’s way back into her mind. She doesn’t want mental illness to be a part of her story, yet it is. It had been about two and a half weeks of deep anxiety and depression. This is when she confessed her plan to her husband and in his calm, loving demeanor he took action. After that, she went to the hospital willingly, yet not. She hadn’t wanted to go to the hospital but she was too tired to fight it. She found herself on the psychiatric floor. The floor where she had fought to keep so many kids out of at work.. And yet there she was. After being in the hospital for a week, she walked out on 9 different medications. Joyel took two months off of work, stayed at her parents house for awhile, had counsel and put in the work. She can remember family and friends sitting with her and holding her. Telling her that she was going to be ok. This gave her hope to hold on.  Through family support, friendships, and hard work Joyel would wean herself down to two different medications and get back to work, but not without hard work in herself. 

In the same year she loses her dearly loved uncle who walked her through her anxiety and depression. Only, his death couldn’t be explained by natural causes because he had taken his own. The questions, confusion and heartbreak Joyel experienced after the painful reality of this death was immeasurable. Joyel admits she was angry with God. She found herself calling out again, “God why didn’t you do something?”  Again, Joyel found herself in the dark, not a room, her mind. God met her there too. This time it was in the form of a friend asking her to attend a women’s conference together. Her immediate response was a hard no, but she was talked into it. Turns out she ended up not even going with the friend that had asked her due to unexpected circumstances. But she had the ticket and the hotel so she went. Much to Joyel’s dismay this women’s conference was exactly what she needed. It was exactly where God wanted her to be. She found herself weeping, as she worked through her questions in a real, authentic, vulnerable way. Joyel found a space to be still AND know that He is God. Notice the second part of the verse? ….AND Know that I am God. He didn’t stop with Be Still. And maybe that’s where Joyel was confused. God never said be still and deal with it. Be still and doubt me. He didn’t say be still and stop caring. Nope, He said be still AND (believe, understand, trust,) KNOW that I am God. Joyel was being refined, Her heavenly Father was pulling her in and bringing her deeper in relationship with Him. He was working all things together for her good (Rom 8:28) while she remained still.

Joyel’s journey with mental health wasn’t over. In fact, she had completely weaned herself off her meds until a stressful work environment and the stress of covid lead to another episode. Thankfully this one wasn’t as intense and she knew to get back onto her medication. Along with medicine, she also talks with her counselor, psychologist, and mentor. She knows she needs to get enough sleep. She surrounds herself with honest people. She focuses on eating healthy and taking time for herself. She has consistent Bible time and she listens to worship music. She admits when she was diagnosed, she felt like she was crazy, irrational, out of control.  But, Joyel chooses to believe the truth of who she is and what having a mental illness means. She proudly tells me that she is a strong woman who can lead well, who can take control of situations and that this label does not define her. In fact her mental illness has helped her seek out the truth in many areas of her life. She says she was told and so she believed that her leadership gift was a weakness. “But now I know it is a strength. I’m growing to see my weaknesses as strengths in the mess.” she says with a smirk. Mental illness does not define you. Only Jesus can do that and He has called you His child. So much good has come from the tragedies Joyel was faced with and yes, she admits she continues to work through the shame of having this mental illness. But she knows, as Romans 5:3,4 says, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” As God continues to use the events to refine her, Joyel boldly and courageously steps out into faith because she is confident in the hope that continues to save her.

Joyel recently quit her stressful job and purchased the Known Women’s Conference. She is passionate about empowering other women with the knowledge and skills to be successful in their walk with the Lord, seeing beauty in how He has created and gifted each of them. She just had her first successful conference with over 250 women in person and virtually. And the way God orchestrated the entirety of it all is a whole other story. She also teaches a class with her cousin called Navigate. Through the class they teach about spiritual gifts and help people discover theirs. I can tell you about these amazing things that Joyel is a part of yet when I asked her what the best compliment someone could give her is, she says, with a full heart, “being a good mom.” Her foundation was set as a child, which gave her the strength to stand on through it all. And now she sets her children’s foundation, so that when they endure the wind and the waves they will not fall. 

Her name is perfect; for Joy is not the absence of pain, but the addition of Hope.

Joyel humbly boasts, “my journey continues and with the help of friends, family, and God I am able to live out my desire of being a great mom to Lily and Leigha. I am able to go through hard days. My story doesn’t have a perfectly tied, pretty bow at the end; I am still in the midst of my struggle. But, God remains and continues to refine me. My name is perfect; for Joy is not the absence of pain, but the addition of HOPE. I found Hope in the middle of my story, at my lowest, and I will continue to cling to that Hope as the trials inevitably come.”

If any of Joyel’s story touched your heart and you need to talk or you need prayer, we are here for you! Reach out to Joyel at joyelvandenboogart@gmail.com. I’m here for you too! Click Here to get in contact with me.

For information about the Known Women’s Conference, click here.

A special thank you to Kali Vande Hey (Kali marie photography) and Kristin Vorel for hair and makeup.

Do you feel a tug on your heart to share your story to impact His kingdom? Let’s talk!